Thirty Things in Thirty Days

Today is October 30, 2007. And I have officially been here for a month...i think. these time changes blow my mind. Anyways, In honor, ah-hem I mean honour of my one month anniversary, I'd like to share some things I've learned over the days. In no particular order...

1. Brisbane is a beautiful city!
2. washing something that is "dry clean only" in the sink can lead to black ink all over your bathroom.
3. don't forget your canvas 'go green' bag at the grocery - the plastic bags are bound to break. then the seven dollar lavender candle you bought is going to shatter all over the ground by the bus stop. screw it. you didn't have matches anyways.
4. day light savings time - under appreciated.
   
5. australian ice cream - way better for some reason. (suck it, bluebell!).
   
6. if you are constantly downloading torrents for "flight of the conchords" on "free" internet, the internet will eventually "disappear". but shhhh....the roommates will never know it was you who screwed up the "free" internet.
   
7. "fight of the Conchords" is a lot funnier if youve lived in Australia.
8. Don't be too nice to the old drunk guy at the pool, because he will ALWAYS be there, ALWAYS remember your name, ALWAYS try to sit next to you, ALWAYS try to hang out with you, etc, etc.
9. people dont necessarily have tea at "morning tea" and "afternoon tea".
   
10. harris county toll authority can find you anywhere!
11. aussie-isms - easy to pick up!
12. no worries!
13. television game shows (eg "who wants to be a millionaire") are impossible if youre foreign.
14. driving is overrated!
15. when in doubt, add a "U" between the "O" and the "R".
16. British English is possibly the hardest English to understand. hmmm that's weird. wasn't that the first English?
    
17. "cheers" = "thanks"
18. mexican food - under appreciated!
19. mexicans - under appreciated!
    
20. dont eat toast with honey while typing on your laptop.
21. don't buy the expensive cell phone because you will lose it in less than a month.
    
22. don't fret - the bus will get here. eventually.
23. it's a lot harder than you think to list thirty things you have learned.
24. customs allows ticking metronomes, but nothing with grains of wheat on it.
    
25. $35 pedicures - under appreciated
    
26. stay left!
27. no one really cares about the classic aussie film "young Einstein".
    
28. there is only one scent of febreeze in Australia - "original" and it doesnt smell that good. or original
    
29. those aren't birds - they're BATS!
30. Australia has a big market for "refrigerated dog and cat food".

Australian Wildlife

I was walking around today and saw this little guy just chillin by the sidewalk! He was about 20in long with his tail. Definitely the biggest lizard I have seen out just chillin by the sidewalk. I was able to stand there, dig through my giant purse, get out my camera, and take three pictures! he didnt even bat an eye. (of course I don't think he has eyelids) As i continued to walk, i saw two more little guys, but they werent as big as the first one.

Later that day, I saw the much more elusive and usually nocturnal "Australian Popped Collar" (left) This species is indigenous to the area, and known to be aggressive if you get too close. Luckily, this one didn't even see me.

enjoy!

so awesome.

official Amy Winehouse ashtray and pint glass. I hope the proceeds go directly to her drinking habit. Support your own drinking habit by clicking here.

Wednesday Rantings

Rant Number 1:

Remember when mp3s first came out? It was going to be the end of the entire music industry. The poor record companies weren't going to make any money.... and the artists that had worked just sooo hard on their craft were now going to be actual starving artists. Whatever happened to that? I have had several computers throughout the past years. And sometimes just one CD that i have transferred from pc to pc (once a mac) and then another PC. I tried to rip all of my cds to mp3 before i left. And now, all of a sudden I don't have a license??? I've had that CD since I was 17! And I owned the poster, went to the concert, and bought a shirt too. Now I can't even listen to it?? It really makes me mad. I'd download it on Soulseek, share it with the entire universe and then email it to everyone I know if my internet connection wasn't so slow. (oh yeah - and in Australia - they put a limit on your internet account for downloads and uploads!) It really bugs me. But one thing that brings a smile to my face - Radiohead's new album. Not that I've listened to it yet (i will very soon), but the fact that you can download for free on their website. Go Radiohead!
http://www.inrainbows.com/index.html


Rant Number 2:

A Toll Violation Invoice was forwarded to me in Australia! I can't believe those toll authority bastards found me! Those suckers can charge it to "the game."


Rant Number 3:

All of the woolite products here smells like eucalyptus. As if i want my clothes to smell like vap-o-rub.

someone please explain. v2.0

actually, don't.

The Indy 300

I went down to the Gold Coast this weekend. It was the Indy 300 just off of the coast of Surfer's Paradise. So instead of paying $90 for a ticket, I chilled on the beach. I didn't attend the actual event, but as far as I could tell it was just like the Indy 500 - simply code for beer and boobs. And there was an air show! i think there may have been some sort of car race too...i'm not quite sure.

someone please explain.

snap crackle WEIRD

by the beard of zeus!!

Wild kangaroos!!

When Fashion Goes Wrong:

The Gladiator Sandal. This seriously has to be the worst inspired-by-"300"-trend out there today. The worst!

big steps. huge.

I took the bus for the first time today. I also found veggie burgers and falafel mix. (Please note - they keep the frozen veggie/soy items in the "frozen snacks" section. I'm guessing there aren't many vegetarians in these parts...) And walking home from the store I noticed I was involuntarily walking on the LEFT side of the sidewalk. Cheers!

And now a post for the ladies!

It's no secret - I count calories. I have a horrible/terrific habit of reading ANY nutrition label of ANYTHING i eat (unless of course it's after 3 beers - those calories don't count). i come to Australia somewhat on a health kick, and DANG IT... they count kilojoules here. kJ's! man oh man. I came prepared to switch to the metric system, but energy units seemed to have slipped my mind. kilojoules?? Anyways, I finally looked up the daily intake of kilojoules. Turns out it's way higher than i was thinking. As in several thousand kilojoules higher than I was thinking. As a matter of fact, I think I'd be severely malnourished if it werent for the horrible/terrific encounters with the giant jar of Nutella in my fridge. mmmmmmhhhhhmmmmmmm

frequently asked questions

Here are some questions I have been asked recently about living abroad:

1. what is the wall current in Australia?

not sure.

2. what is the DVD region code in Australia?

2

3. what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow in Australia?

i havent really gotten my metric conversions down yet

4. what is the general public feeling toward Australia's participation in the war in Iraq? (no need to ask about the Australian attitude toward Bush).

I'm afraid to ask. I do know i was talking to some people next to the pool and made a joke "...and everyone hates americans!!" they laughed and said "im glad you said that so we didnt have to"

5. How far outside of the city do you have to go to see Kangaroos in the wild?

10kilometers. theres enough around that people EAT them

6. What are the beaches like - by that I mean, are the waves like Galveston or California or Hawaii or in between somewhere? Havent been to Hawaii, but I think it was pretty comparable to california. And cold!

7. TV - what is on TV and from where - that is, American shows? European shows? Any in foreign languages - Chinese? Pilipino? Spanish? Aborigines?

there are 5 channels here. one of them is international and has a variety of crap on it. the other channels show absolute garbage. mostly american garbage. including the singing bee. or australian versions of american garbage. like "australian idol" or "australian dirty jobs". there are some english shows but i dont know what they are. honestly i havent really watched much tv, but the roommates watch a lot.

8. Are all the men there really named Bruce? Or even a disproportionate number of them? Or is it even a common name?

havent come across any people named bruce... yet!

9. General physical description of the people - tall? American size? Generally physically fit or just as overweight as Americans? Blondes Brunettes or Reds in the majority? What are redheads called? Gingers (British) or Redheads?

people here are definitely not american sized. Theyre fit. It's the lifestyle. As soon as I got here, I noticed that my weight went down by a factor of 1/2.2 (hahaha) ...people bike a lot in this city, and i have seen way too many of my coworkers in biker shorts. there are a lot of taller men, and a lot of people are blonde/blue eyed. but there is a bit of everything here. so far i've only seen 2 gingers. I bet theyre called gingers here.

10. How do you get to work and around town? Do you have a car there or do you hitchhike or take the bus? Are there trains?

I only live about a 5 minute walk from work, so i walk. So far I have only walked and taken cabs....But there are bike baths everywhere. buses everywhere and there are also trains, which travel longer distances - out to the suburbs. of course suburbs here are only a 15minute walk from downtown. Brisbane is along a river and another part of the public transit is called the CityCat, which is essentially a ferry that goes up and down the river. tickets are interchangeable with bus tickets, and it is very fast. it's fun.


(thanks, mike for the questions)

so much for customs

Unable to part with all of my purses, shoes, jewelry, and coveted skinny high school jeans, packing for two years was rather difficult. at the last minute, I found myself throwing miscellaneous crap into a box that i was going to ship to myself. There were piles of unopened bills, my winter coat, a few books, and a prescription antibiotic . I was slightly concerned about the box getting through customs with prescription drugs in, but figured there was enough miscellaneous crap that they would never see it. And that hopefully drug sniffing dogs don't recognize Z-paks. I was right. No one even questioned my box. Which is downright unbelievable because my miscellaneous crap also happened to contain a metronome. Not just any metronome, but the loudest metronome humanly possible. WITH A BATTERY IN IT. Not just a battery, but A WORKING BATTERY. This box arrived at my apartment loudly ticking!! Australia is lucky I'm not a terrorist.

i've now peed on both sides of the pacific

The jellyfish were huge! About 1.5 feet in diameter.

And if you look to the right of the surfers, there is a topless sunbather.

Take note, Australia!

Target used to be my happy place. Need to buy something as annoying as tampons? No problem - just get em at target (and wham!) you've bought not only feminine supplies, but a 6pack of beer, a new shirt, and some lipgloss. It was the perfect PMS cure. Unfortunately I rarely left the store without spending a hundred bucks. In my past couple of days of shopping here, I was secretly just hoping to find a Target. That's all I need. Most of my clothes are from there, and definitely all of my makeup. And at last I found one! But i walked in, and my heart sank. It sucked. S-U-C-K-E-D. It was horribly set up, I didnt see anything I liked. And I swear a fifth of the store was a selection of giant fugly easter hats for old ladies. (Are those in style?) In conclusion - K-mart is the new Target.

first weekend sans jetlag

This friday was my first real night out. It felt like a normal night out in texas actually- started out with happy hour after work. I met lots of new people - the entire time they were talking about plans for the night - who's going to which bar, which party, etc etc. I had pretty much made friends with one girl and was planning on going out with her for the night. She announced "We're going to a house party!! wooo!!!" So I start to listen to others at the happy hour. "you going to brians?" ---" oh yeah, we're going to the weeeeed party."


woah. what? weed party? I am soooo not into going to a weed party with people from work. Or at all. But let's face it. I (a) have no other plans and (b) have no friends. So I decide to go. Luckily they were saying "Wii party". Thank god. Just Nintendo...And I got 2nd place in bowling! yes!!

the end of the night ended up at a bar called regatta, which is not too far from my apartment.
Here is a picture of the toilet. It was a lot like a toilet in jail.



Saturday morning I woke up, called mum and drank a cup o tea, like a good commonwealth girl. And this was my view from the balcony. It was going to be a good day.

after tea, i head downtown. I decided that i was going to let myself be a tourist today. I did totally geeky touristy things. took pictures of stupid stuff, bought stamps and post cards in bulk, walked around looking at maps making others walk around me. no worries though - got some great new pictures of boxes.




And then i happened upon a street preformer. i am certain he is going to haunt my dreams for years.



A few other things worth mentioning....

burger king anyone?


And to my dismay, this store had nothing to do with david bowie. Or davy jones from the monkeys. Bugga!

reducing my risk of osteoporosis in australia ; increased gas production

coffee and milk,
tea and milk,
cookies and milk

I miss you, diet coke.

little boxes

all along the streets, there are painted electrical boxes. they always make me feel something and i absolutely love them!

Restrooms … eh I mean toilets.

So the number one question people want to know is about the toilet flush – clockwise or counterclockwise? The answer is -I haven't noticed yet. But What I have noticed is that there are usually 2 flush buttons on the toilet. And judging by trial and error, these two buttons correspond to the “number one” and “number two”.

first days

So my adventure in Australia is finally underway. After about 24 hours of traveling with way too much luggage and horrible airline food (including a breakfast with a “lil sausage” and hot tomato), I drop my bags off at my brand new apartment, shower, and head downtown looking for essentials – cellphone and hair dryer. I travel on foot, expecting to get lost – as a first initiative to get to know Brisbane. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to the city, and I only almost got hit by a car three times (keep left)! I eventually learn to actually pay attention to the pedestrian lights. There is no excuse not to really. You don’t even have to look at them – they're equipped with crazy space invader type noises when its time to cross. I have yet to actually see a blind person...

I finally arrive downtown at the mall – which is mostly outdoors. The city demographics- all white and asian. (sounds like sugar land – I’m sure ill be right at home in no time at all!) The weather is perfect outside – not a cloud in the sky, probably about 85 degrees (what is that in Celsius anyways?)… And it is packed outside! People are everywhere.

The people here are gorgeous. And when theyre not gorgeous, theyre dressed completely wacky. Like florescent-green-knee-high-socks-and-boots kind of wacky. As I continue to lose track of where I am, I notice these wacky looking people are seemingly rising in population. First, I stopped at a convenience store, and saw a grown man buy 8 lollipops. I was guessing it was just a random druggie sighting, but as I was leaving, a squinty eyed guy was coming into the store, and tripped and fell on his face. As if this wasn’t hilarious enough, he was in a group of people wearing entirely nothing but florescent clothing. I’m talking hot pink sweat bands, green muscle tees – the works. I figure another random druggie sighting. But as I continue, these people are starting to rule the streets. Everyone is wearing florescent clothing… Theyre all yelling things, and buses drive by and those people yell at the people on the streets – again all wearing florescent clothing. Before I know it, people shout at me, “park life!!! Parklife's that a-ways!!!!” I just smile and shrug the best I can carrying my giant shopping bags. Besides, whatever parklife is, I sure as hell cant go there without wearing florescent clothing. I continue to walk around, trying to gage by the sun which direction my apartment was in. (yes, I was that lost). But I finally find my way home and learn along the way that parklife is a huge concert – and people wear florescent clothing because “the 80s looks is back in style”…to which I replied “ wow they're really taking that look to heart”. My new normal friend friends agreed.

Sunday, was not quite as exciting, but interesting none the less. I walk down the street around 9am to get the other essentials – shampoo, milk, and bread. As I pass by the pool, I hear loud thumping house music. The hot tub is completely full of people at 9am partying on a Sunday! I guess they don’t go to church here. Wow – this is my kind of town. The Sunday pool party continued all day. ALL DAY!!!

Could this be the “team awesome” of australia?? Unfortunately I was too busy unpacking and too tired to get myself socialized, but I am sure next weekend will yield the same results. hopefully with less jet lag, and more beer.